She is now gone at the most unexpected time..
admin November 29th, 2007
The one in the center wearing peach color is my grandmother who I called as Tok Ba’ie, who had passed away on Sunday, November 25th, 2007.
Dearest Tok Ba’ie,
I am sorry, I was not there besides you when you are going to the other world. I am sorry I never had the opportunity to say that I love you so much. I was so stunned when Aisya told me that you are gone..forever. And I only know that 3 days after you are gone. I cried. I want to hug you. I want to spend my time with you. I have planned to do a lot of things with you when I go home after graduation, but now, everything is gone. It was already too late to do anything.
I couldn’t even see your face for 2 whole years and I couldn’t even fulfill my promise to you.. to bring back a present from the United States, and to bring you to my wedding. Tok Ba’ie, I wish I had more time with you. I want to spend more time with you.
I remember when we used to sleep together. I was so enthusiastic when going home to Kedah to meet you. You let me eat everything, you didn’t scold me for anything, you were always there for me. But now, I realized, I was not always there for you. I was not matured enough to realize how precious you are for me.
Tok Ba’ie,
You always managed to make me smile and laugh. I love it when you smile and laugh and tried to speak English. It was so funny.
My tears are now running down my cheeks. I want to stop them, but I can’t. This is the only way to sweep my sadness away. I watched a stupid movie yesterday, to make me forget that you are gone. But it was only for a short time, after that, the sadness overwhelms me again.
Tok Ba’ie,
Even though you are not here, I want you to know that I love you very much. More than you ever know and more than I ever show. Mama said you left your necklace for me, that one that you always wear around your neck. Thank you, Tok. I will keep it safely like you always did. I know the necklace meant a lot to you, and it means a lot to me too. It is like having a part of you with me.
Tok Ba’ie,
I know that Allah loves you, and I believe in Him. I will always pray that you will be given the best treatment and be put among those that He loves, and go to heaven.
Tok Ba’ie, I love you.
